


Red Water and Space

by ThreeHats



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 02:55:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7557364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was cold. Like space. It was loud. Like space. It was populated. Like space.</p><p>It was now that the Space Core realized it had never been to space, so it didn't actually know whether or not these comparisons were accurate; facts were not about to dampen its spirits, however.  Space was everything.  Space was his whole life.  So if it wanted to compare this dark walkway between two buildings that was currently littered with organs, loose, gelatinous chunks of skin and thick pieces of brain to the beauty and majesty of space, no one was allowed to tell it it was wrong.  It rolled awkwardly on the ground, to get its bearings, having only come out of hibernation a moment before; red appeared in the corner of its vision, and it processed the sound of shallow water on the ground before it hit a large mass lying in the middle of the alleyway.</p><p> </p><p>All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Water and Space

**Characters:** Gina, Space Core (Janda9950)  
**Location:** Sketchy back alley (Janda9950)  
**Scenario:** Woke up amidst a grisly murder scene with no memory

 

All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.

\---

It was cold. Like space. It was loud. Like space. It was populated. Like space.

It was now that the Space Core realized it had never been to space, so it didn't actually know whether or not these comparisons were accurate; facts were not about to dampen its spirits, however. Space was everything. Space was his whole life. So if it wanted to compare this dark walkway between two buildings that was currently littered with organs, loose, gelatinous chunks of skin and thick pieces of brain to the beauty and majesty of space, no one was allowed to tell it it was wrong. It rolled awkwardly on the ground, to get its bearings, having only come out of hibernation a moment before; red appeared in the corner of its vision, and it processed the sound of shallow water on the ground before it hit a large mass lying in the middle of the alleyway.

A groan came from beside the core, and the mass began to move into a seating position, knocking it back through the red water until it hit another soft mass. A woman-shaped human was what knocked him back--it-her's long, flowing rabbits (or were they hares?) falling past her slender neck and arm supports. Blue i's appeared behind it-her half-closed skinned eye covers, currently clouded with confusion. Space Core thought it-she was magnificent. Like space.

It-Her blue i's met with its ocular receiver, a curious look spreading across it-her head features. Space Core thought it might be horror, but the interpretation of emotions was not its primary function. It-She pulled out a telephone from its non-skin pocket, furiously dialing a short number.

"Jake--It's Gina. Remember this afternoon when I told you that I needed to fuel my soul with experiences that were beyond your mortal understanding? I lied, I was just going to a bar. Someone's been killed, so you might want to bring homicide with you. I think I just might go home--"

There was screaming on the other line so loud that Space Core did not have to raise the gain on its audio perceptors in order to hear. The It-Gina looked bored as the other Person-Thing told her loudly to stay. It-She hung up the phone, leaning on a large, green trash-box beside her as she waited.

"So, what are you? Are you a tiny, round murderer?" It-She asked, breaking the silence between them.

"WHAT IS MURDERER? IS IT FROM SPACE?"

"I guess that depends on what movie you're watching," She-Gina responded. "Personally, I'm not a fan of those kinds of movies, they usually don't have murderers that I can objectify. Like you, for example."

"WHAT IS ME?"

"You're a round little... weird thing. It's impossible for me to empathize with or sexualize something that isn't human shaped. It's why I have to answer most phone calls while looking into a mirror."

"WEIRD THING SOUNDS GOOD. I LIKE GOOD."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, I guess," it-She said, getting to it-her feets. "Either way, I should probably arrest you? Like, you're covered in blood and sitting next to a dead body, so..."

"ARREST. DETAIN? MURDER. DEATH? SPACE. SPACE?"

"Yeah, the jail is a space, sure."

"NOT A SPACE. SPACE. SPACE IS SPACE. SPACE IS GOOD. SPACE IS BEST."

"Whatever you say, weirdo. Speaking of, whatever you say will most likely be held against you in a court of law or something. I think? I don't know how they would literally hold it against you though."

"YOU DO NOT BELIEVE THAT SPACE IS GOOD?"

"Can we please move on from the space thing and get to the part where I arrest you? Where are your hands..."

"SPACE. IS. GOOD."

The ocular sensor on his face-plate turned red. Soon, everything else did, too.


End file.
